Black, Black Coffee

I didn't know how much I could learn about my... friendships from 3rd party sources. People are just awesome. Thank god I'm surrounded by so many of them.

Today I erupted at my high school's Guidance Department Administrator regarding the Freshmen Mentor Program. If my memory serves me correctly I used words such as "bureaucratic bullshit", "I didn't realize that you wanted my grades to take the backseat to pointless meetings that serve nearly no purpose" and "you know what I think I WILL take the F. Good luck with this "program" next year. I'm sure it's going to be just as successful as this year." What a strange experience to me. I don't think I've ever show such blatant disrespect for authority before.

Nothing against Mrs. K, though. She's just trying to do her silly job. She was just the unfortunate one who was lucky enough to be my punching bag today.

I'm not the Bryan I used to be, I don't think. My personality seems to be one of a large lake, enclosed with many tall pine trees and dark hardwoods. You stare across the water and see the playful ripples, a reflection of the blue sky and the harrowing tree line. It's picturesque at times. Something to be admired. However, it's the curious youth, peering over the side of a rusty old dingy that realizes how much they hate the lake. For swirling, gliding through the abyss, rattling, raging, fuming is some uncontrolled and anciently simple understanding. Like the threshold of hell itself (the old kind they talk about in medieval taverns) is but a beautiful curtain to be revered from afar. Tie a brick to your sentiments and see if they reach the bottom. They won't. They'll disappear like the steam cast forth from a cup of black, black coffee.

I'm an angry, unpleasant person. This is not a complaint... but a preamble to a mighty cry at.. something... worth crying at. I'm angry at nothing. So I'm angry at everything.